Pretentious Crap!

I have many thoughts about the culinary world…..and my reader will probably get an eye full….when I look for a dining experience I do not appreciate pretentious crap!

How many of you watch the Food Network?  How about their newest endeavor, the Cooking Channel?  Have you found a real cook or just a collection of pretty people that are marketable?  These are the biggest collection of pretentious dickheads I have ever seen.  Do not get my wrong……after being a chef there are many egotistical a/holes in the field….but most are talented until it becomes more about the restaurant and the personality of the chef then the food.  These becomes places to be seen, not a fantastic place to dine.

TV has given you chefs with catch words like BAM!  Or one with a heavy Southern accent that is so endearing to the public while she coats everything in butter and sugar……or one that is a pretentious broad from Long Island that only cooks expensive dishes for her exclusive clientele……but my all time hate is a chef with spiky white tipped hair that spends all his time with his “cool” sunglasses on the back of his head and then prepares food that has so many conflicting flavors that it would cause ulcers in a normal human  There are a few I consider real chefs….but they are few and far between….the rest are just reality shows that are better viewed while stoned.

It is possible that some of the pretentious dorks were once a fair chef….but they have long sense abandoned their technique for the bright lights of show biz……when they do that they are NO longer a chef but rather an entertainer.  We have enough entertainers and a sad lack of good chefs…….if you want true artistry then watch a good short order cook at work……very poetic!

 

And then there is the pretentious crap about terminology, culinary terminology…….for instance…..a crudites ……you do not need culinary school…it is a selection of raw veggies with dip…….it is crudites if you are pretentious…it is a veggie platter if you are a mere mortal……

Now for the famous maripoix….a fancy way of saying 2 parts onion, 1 part celery and 1 part carrot sauteed as a base for a dish…..not to be confused with the Cajun 3 sisters…..2 parts onion, one part celery and one part bell pepper……there is also a white base of leeks, parsnips and celeriac root…..

Harcots…..now here is one I love…..I have heard many “chefs” on the tube use the term…like they are some cure for colon cancer when in reality it is a pretentious way of saying green bean….There are many more terms that pretentious chefs use to try and dazzle people with their BS…..

Proper food prep is NOT rocket science!  It is only as difficult as you make it.  It is a joy if you are not worried about your ratings.  To be a true chef is to bring joy to people’s palate, not to dazzle those diners with your BS.

I had much rather be known as a great cook than a good chef!

Live, Love and Eat!